"What Now?"
Sermon Transcript for May 30, 2004
Scripture Reading: Acts 2:1-21
By Rev. Dan Sinkhorn
Well, if last week when we celebrated the ascension of Jesus was graduation day, what does that make Pentecost? And that’s what I want to think about today as we honor God’s Word together. What is this Pentecost all about? Let us pray, “Dear Father, speak now your Word through your servant. Though I’m not worthy, you can burn your will and your Word on your people’s hearts despite me. So I give myself over to your care. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Well, if Ascension Sunday is graduation day, then I thought it would be helpful to reflect on graduation. In fact, I was thinking a lot about my own graduation from high school this last week or so as we prepared for my son’s graduation. As we commemorated the graduation of so many fine young people here at church last week, I was remembering my graduation day. Now my Dad’s company transferred him around a few times when I was growing up and I ended up in Owasso, Okalahoma when I was a junior in high school; and graduated from high school in Owasso. Do you know what Owasso means? Some of you do, I can hear you giggling. Owasso is an Indian word that means “the trails end”. Yep, that’s what it means. And in our lobby of the high school when you walked in the door there is a statute by a famous artist called “The Trails End”. And, well, you know how irreverent high schoolers can be. I was chief among them. I just characterized it as the story of my life—the trails end—a sick Indian on a sick horse with a spear through his back. Though it really wasn’t that—but that’s what it looked like to me. I had reached what seemed like the trails end to me. And on graduation day, we gathered at the stadium there where the high school team played football. Now in Oklahoma football is as reverently supported as basketball is in this state. And so the best facility that we had was the football stadium.
I can remember standing under the bleachers, lining up with the other graduates—all 125 of us, working our way around the side of the bleachers, in front of the band with “Pomp and Circumstances” playing. And we are walking to our seats; and I’m second to last in line. I’m number 124. Now we were told to just line up as best we could, but nobody was particularly concerned about how we ordered ourselves because we had been given little cards with our names on them to present to the Superintendent so that the person’s name and the person were matched. Now you know some of us were thinking about swapping cards. The truth is, I would have liked to have swapped cards with some of the people in my class because their reputations were excellent; they were a lot better than mine. In fact, standing behind me last in line was my friend, John Wheeler, who was voted most likely to succeed. And I tell you; he probably did because the guy had it all going for him. He had the grades and he had the looks and he had the wherewithal to do anything he set his mind to. He was planning to go to OU. He was planning to become a doctor. And I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out that he’s a prominent doctor in Oklahoma somewhere right now doing quite well.
And then there was me—most likely to never figure out what to do. And so I looked at John as we were lining up and we were just about to slide into the rows where we were sitting and I said, “John, you know, it just doesn’t seem right to me that the most likely to succeed is last in line.” And so just as we were sitting down, I bumped him over to my seat and I took the last position. Now, as I sat in the chair listening to all…hearing all the speeches, I was looking out to the west to the sunset. And Oklahoma sunsets are breathtaking every day of the year. And this particular occasion it was made even more beautiful by the fact that Mt. Saint Helen’s blew up just a week earlier, and there was ash in the air that made the sunset even more glorious. I’ve told people that God blew up a mountain in celebration of my graduation from high school. It was that momentous of an event. I think my Dad still tells people that. And unlikely as it was, I graduated. But sitting there looking at the sunset, and I’m beginning to think, “What now? What now?” And the names are being called of the graduates and they are walking up and someone hit upon the idea sort of accidentally that as the names were being called those who had already received their diplomas after their name was called, they would take the pages of the diploma booklets and thump them together like that. And of course none of us had our diplomas, you know, because you didn’t get those, you just got the booklet. So it was always a bit of a mystery to me. (Eventually it came. Thank you, Lord.) And I was last in line, so when they called my name, there was a resounding thud. And then everybody was so pleased because everyone received their diplomas and their was such a great thud that the whole crowd just burst into cheers. It was really exciting. The sun had gone down, it was dark; the June bugs were flying around the lights.
I was going to my seat and it was over, it was over! I walked out; you know I had driven myself to the ceremony because, you know, we had to be there early so I didn’t really have anybody to meet or anyplace to go right away. And I was just kind of wandering by myself back out through the openings in the bleachers, standing under the bleachers. You know how they are, those big metal bleachers with all that ironwork underneath them and always garbage under the bleachers. I was standing there in the garbage under the bleachers looking at the parking lot and watching all my friends go their different ways knowing that they all had plans, they all had dreams, they had girlfriends and boyfriends, and you know, the whole future seemed to be ahead of them. But I really didn’t know what was coming next; it was a mystery to me.
And then something happened that I still don’t know the significance of it but it was sort of the period on the end of that sentence of my life. This one fellow came up to me who was kind of the class “hottie”, you know, he was the “studly” guy in our school. You know, this was the 1980’s so he was like John Travolta, you know, wearing the wide lapels and the silky things and he knew how to do that dance thing. I don’t know what became of him and don’t really care. But, you know, he walked up to me, the most popular guy in the school and the most least likely to succeed, I should say. He walked up to me and he said; “Now Sinkhorn, I just need to tell you something.” And I said, “What? You never speak to me. What are you wanting to tell me?” And he said, “Well, I want to tell you that you know that all of that applause and everything wasn’t really for you.” And I said, “Yeah, I know. I never had a doubt in my mind.” And he said, “Well, I just was afraid maybe you thought that somehow you’d become popular.” Well, I said, “Not to worry.” I knew exactly what my place in the world was at that moment and it wasn’t much.
And that’s where I was on graduation day. Now let’s go back a scripture for a second. And then you’ll probably understand why I identify with Peter in so many ways. Where was Peter on graduation day? Where was he on his graduation day from Apostle High School? Well, the Bible tells us that the night before Jesus died, Peter denied Him even though he had been told he would do it and promised he wouldn’t. From Scripture we know that Peter was a really fine fisherman. He must have been a fairly good businessman too because it was a rather extensive operation and seemed to run well. We know that he was a pretty good Jew because he understood the rules and regulations and the life of a faithful Jew. But as an Apostle, well, you know, there were issues weren’t there? And we know that after Jesus rose from the dead and everyone knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was everything He claimed to be, that Peter and the other guys went back to fishing because Scripture tells us that one day after Jesus’ resurrection the Apostles were fishing. Now have you ever wondered why they were doing that? You know, were they bored? Do you think that Jesus’ resurrection was boring and so they didn’t know what to do that day? I don’t think so. I think they knew exactly what they were doing. They considered themselves failures as Apostles. And why not? They had been right by Jesus’ side. They witnessed every miracle, they heard every word, and they had been touched in such a way that they could never be the same again. But when it came right down to it they were afraid of Jesus and they didn’t believe Him. So they ran and hid. So then when Jesus was back alive among them, they are overwhelmed. They are thrilled but they are also keenly aware of how they had failed Him. So they went back to their day job. They went back to fishing.
And low and behold one day--now this story has new meaning to me because now I’ve been to the Sea of Galilee, I’ve been on a boat out in the Sea of Galilee and looked back at the shore up there behind Capernaum, up there behind the docks where the boats would have been moored--.I look now in my minds eye at the hillside. I can see Jesus sitting up there watching them fish on that hillside. Maybe he is on a comfortable rock under an overhang in the shade and He’s looking as He has done countless times watching the fellows fish. And eventually He comes down to the shore and He says, “Hey guys, come eat!” Now we might miss the significance of that if we don’t understand something about the culture. In their culture, people don’t eat with their enemies. If I had a grudge with you, the last thing you can expect me to do is to invite you over to my house for dinner. You don’t break bread with people with whom you have a grudge. And we mustn’t miss that because when Peter realizes that Jesus has just invited them to come eat with Him on the shore, Peter practically runs across the water to get to Jesus! He’s been forgiven; his sins have been taken away. God has said, “Hey, I know you are not perfect.” But even then he’s not sure he gets it. And this is one of my favorite stories. And it’s so exciting because when I was there at the Sea of Galilee, I was in the very place that this story that is such a favorite of mine is said to have taken place, and low and behold I had a phone conversation with Laura and the kids at that very moment. I said, “You are not going to believe where I am. I’m in this place where my favorite story happened.”
And this is the story. Jesus has been eating with the Apostles and He says to them, “Peter, Peter do you love me?” Peter says, “Yeah, I love you.’ He says, “Peter, feed my sheep.” Now, that seems like a reasonable question and answer. But for some reason we hear it three times in a row because Jesus says it again. “Peter, do you love me?” Peter says, “Yes, Lord, I love you.” And the Bible tells us he got a little exasperated with the Lord and he says, “Yes, you know I love you.” And then Peter is asked one more time, “Do you love me?” Peters says, “Yes, Lord, I do.” And so the Lord says, “Feed my sheep.” Well, this is one of those places where a little insight can go a long way because when we read the Scripture from the perspective of those who first gave it to us, we realize that our words in English are somewhat limited. And here is what I’ve been taught that really happened. Jesus said to Peter, “Peter do you love me with all of your heart, mind, and soul? Are you totally sold out to me?” And Peter’s embarrassed because he’s already proven through his actions that he isn’t as sold out as he’d like to be. And so he says, “No, Lord, I don’t love you that much but I like you a lot.” And Jesus says, “Okay, so feed my sheep.” And he can see on Peter’s face that he’s not convinced that he’s worthy of the task. And so He says to Peter again, “Peter, do you love me with all of your heart?” Are you totally sold out?” Peter says, “Lord, you know, it’s got to be pretty obvious to you by now that I don’t love you that much, but I do like you.” And Jesus said, “Okay, so feed my sheep.” And He can see that Peter is just saying, “You’re out of your mind, Jesus. Obviously I’m not the guy for the job.” But Jesus said, “Okay then, do you just like me, do you just love me enough?” And Peter says, “Yes, Lord, that’s what I’ve been saying.” And that’s when Jesus says, “Okay, feed my sheep. You are okay. You are good enough.”
Now let me tell you something. You know, I went through Israel and I thought that I would have all of these powerful experiences. We must all anticipate that when we’re going to that place for the first time. But boy that’s where it hit. All of a sudden, I’m there and I’m remembering my graduation day. I remember my graduation day when I was looking into the darkness of an Oklahoma sky saying, “What now?” Well, what now was that I got a job because Dad said if I didn’t have a job and didn’t go to school, I was on my own when it came to the insurance. That’s just the way it was. I had to get a job. And I did that for a while and then school started sounding a little better to me. So I went to the junior college in Claremore, Oklahoma for a few semesters but gave up on that because I didn’t know. You know you can only take so many general courses and sooner or later they ask you to declare a major and I didn’t have a clue. I didn’t have a clue so I said, “Well, I guess this is it for me.” And so I went back to working. And, you know, ask Reverend Mike some day to tell you all about my resume because he thinks its remarkable but I’ve done pretty near everything. And all the while having the foundation and knowledge that I attribute to Peter, you know, being a good Christian; Him being a good Jew. I’ve had those foundational experiences. I was religious. I knew the Scriptures. I knew the truths but, well, that was as far as it went.
Now if Ascension Sunday was graduation day for the disciples, then college for the disciples must have been on Pentecost, must have started on Pentecost. I like thinking that maybe when that Pentecost Day came and the disciples and all followers were filled with the Spirit of God that they had just entered in to God’s higher education plan. And I’ve realized as I’ve examined my own life and all of its emptiness and failures that I used to count as strikes against me, that what I was, was someone who was in limbo. I was hanging between graduation and my higher education. In the next four weeks you are going to hear a lot about John Wesley and I want you to know I’m Wesley through and through if it means that our job is to first receive the gift that was given by this pursuing Spirit that wouldn’t leave us alone. And if we are to then be justified by accepting that gift at graduation, then we are to pursue this higher education. We are to strive for perfection. And this school that we enter in to on Pentecost is one where the degrees are unlimited. You don’t quit with a doctorate. You just keep right on going because God’s got degrees you’ve never even heard of. But that’s what we are supposed to do.
And so I wonder how many of us today are in limbo? We’ve seen graduation day. We’ve experienced the truth and we believe, just as the Apostles did, that Jesus is everything that He claims to be. But we haven’t joined him in our higher education. We haven’t gone to sit at His feet for the rest of our lives and learn from the master. Maybe our Christian graduation day has been a lot like Dan’s graduation day in Owasso, Oklahoma so long ago. Maybe we are all just standing here going, “now what”? The Scripture has given us the answer to the question because the Scripture says that they were there waiting and it happened that the Spirit of the Lord came upon them like tongues of fire. It is such a beautiful symbolism because if you notice they are individual tongues. They are not consumed by one big fire. Each is an individual yet united by the one spirit so that I can be me. I told someone just this morning I’ve decided that life isn’t necessarily like a box of chocolates. I know I am. You never know what you are going to get. I don’t even know half the time. And yet that’s all right because in a spirit-filled believer, I can be that way. And I want you to know that after I realized that truth, it didn’t change overnight in my life. And as time past and I began to realize that what I had to do was move on to my Christian higher education, it happened. I invited the Spirit of the Lord to ignite in me like never before. And of course the good thing a good fire does is burn away all the chaff and all of the junk. A good hot fire first burns all the excess garbage on the outside of whatever your fuel is so that it can get to the core which can sustain power and heat and be a tremendous resource for a long period of time. So I went through a long period of time in the wilderness having it all burned away by that Spirit. I had to own up to some mistakes. I had to live with some failures and faults. I had to live with the fact that I hadn’t prepared in the way that I could have. But here is where the miracle starts—I grew up when I was about 34. And when I was 35, I had my first church appointment. And I have to tell you, I hope you’ve seen that I haven’t changed much because I’m really praying that I don’t, but I got into that pulpit on that first day at Lanesville United Methodist Church and I was like a little kid. I was so excited. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I didn’t grow up in the United Methodist Church. I hadn’t been around a lot of United Methodist pastors. And if you know a little bit about our system, it is possible for a layperson to pastor a small church for a short period of time without having been formally trained. We have a limited amount of training and the idea is that you work and learn at the same time. But the appointments are appropriately balanced to your abilities. So I had nothing but raw enthusiasm that first day. I’m watching my wife because she’s grinning. She remembers that day as well as I do. And I’m just standing up there going, “I’m so excited.” And all eleven of those people said, “You know, there is hope for Lanesville United Methodist Church.” And I found out later they were going to close that church. And I’m proud because the Lord used me that three years later when I came to be with you, I left the church of about ninety. And you know, it wasn’t me. I can’t take credit for that. You’ve heard my credentials. It was the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God comes in you and you just, if you just let it; God already knows what come next. And if you can learn to live in that mysterious joy of uncertainty where you just know that God’s in charge and I’m not and that’s okay, it’s amazing what God will do. And I am nothing less than a miracle standing before you right now. I am not going to make a habit of telling you about myself from the pulpit, but on this day that we celebrate Pentecost, I don’t know a better way to illustrate to you how the Lord fills us with His Spirit and makes us more than we ever thought we could be then to say, “Right here folks.”
In 1980, in May, as the cloud of Mt. Saint Helen’s billowed across my world, there was no hope. And it stayed that way for a long time. But when I finally allowed God to take me to the next step to be filled with His Spirit then everything started to change. The man you have before you is nothing less than God’s work through the Holy Spirit. And I continue to see and hear things that just blow me away and I hope it keeps going like this for the rest of my life because I’m having a ball. And I want that for you. I want that for you in the worse way. I’d like to see Pentecost right here at Grace United Methodist Church today. I’d like to see tongues of fire on every individual. I’d like to see everybody come out of limbo and move into higher education. And if you are in that higher education program, it’s time for a new strike. It’s time for a new degree. It’s time to go to the next level because we are not done until God says so.
It’s exciting to be Pentecost, spirit-filled Christians. And the beautiful thing about that individuality and those flames of fire that falls on each of us is that we don’t have to be like anybody else. You know, you don’t have to be spirit-filled Christians in the same vein as those other people we think of. We have to be what God has called us to be and to be perfectly okay with that because he wouldn’t pour His spirit into junk. And He wouldn’t pour it out of junk. So what are you waiting for?
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