"The Blessing"
Sermon Transcript for May 12, 2002
By Rev. Mike Beck
Now, I want you all to relax for Reverend Mike has silently learned the foundational rule taught to all pastors in seminary in Preaching 101. That rule is this, "Never go over on Mother’s Day!" You’ll be out early!
Throughout the pages of Scripture, especially in the Old Testament, there is an important and powerful Biblical concept that we fail to give its rightful place in our individual lives and also in our churches. What I’m referring to is the biblical practice of a "blessing" being bestowed from one person to another. Nelson’s Bible Dictionary defines a blessing this way, "The act of declaring, or wishing, God’s favor and goodness upon others." And the definition goes on to say, "The blessing is more than just the good effect of words." A blessing, in some way beyond our ability to understand, "also has the power to bring it to pass".
In the Old Testament, a blessing was usually bestowed by a father to his children. But on this Mother’s Day, I want to invite you as I bring this message to reflect upon the many ways that your mother passed on a blessing--God’s favor and goodness--to you in a variety of ways. And I would want you to leave from this place this morning asking yourself this important question, "How can my words and my actions this week be a blessing to someone else?"
A blessing bestowed upon another person is more than just a touchy, feely, warm-fuzzy kind of superficial experience. It’s more than that. A blessing isn’t a "good luck" charm that is going to ensure that everything will turn up roses in the other person’s life. We know that life isn’t always that way. But a blessing imparted to another person has the ability to shape their destiny in ways that we often are unable to comprehend at the time the blessing is bestowed.
Let me ask each of you to do a mental exercise. I’ll bet all of you can do this too. I want you right now to bring to mind the positive words of a father or mother, of a teacher or coach, of a pastor that was spoken to you maybe 40, 50 even 60 years ago but you can still recall them in your mind. And some of those words were literally life shaping and life-changing in their impact. For, friends, there is power in our words of blessing. And, perhaps we need also to keep in mind, the power of words to destroy or tear down. The cliché, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me," is the greatest lie ever perpetuated. Words have a powerful affect, both positive or for the negative!
And the reason this concept of a "blessing" is so important is that it touches us at two of our deepest points of need: 1) the need to feel that we are loved unconditionally, and 2) the need we have to feel that our life has value. There are three aspects of a blessing that are seen in almost every occurrence of this practice in Scripture:
1) Meaningful touch
2) Spoken words that express value
3) Hope for the future
Meaningful Touch: Many of you can recall the familiar Old Testament story of Isaac and his sons, Jacob and Esau. And you may remember the trickery they went to so that they would get the blessing. Well, Isaac, when it comes to the point of giving the blessing, his eyesight is failing so he says, "Come near my son and kiss me." Friends, there is something physiological that happens when we touch another person. The act of touch is so important to communicate warmth, acceptance, and affirmation. I invite you to reflect upon the ministry of our Lord as reported in the gospels. How often He reached out in His healing ministry to touch the other person. He didn’t have to. He could have just said the word. But like the blind beggar that the Confirmation Class witnessed yesterday in their last session going through the film, "Jesus of Nazareth", Jesus takes a moment and He touches the eyes of this blind beggar.
A noted psychologist has said that we all need at least ten significant "touches" with other people each day for good emotional health. Ten touches – how many have you had so far today? There were several of you that I tried to get to give a touch to prior to the service. Have you ever noticed, those of you like me who enjoy sports, how much touching goes on between those big, burly athletes in team sports? The NBA finals are going on now. I urge you, the next NBA game you watch, notice how much they touch each other—with a high five, with a hands down like this, with a slap on the back. There’s a reason for that!
Now having said that, touch should be appropriate to the situation. Hugs can be overdone. I enjoy hugs. I don’t particularly enjoy hugs from total strangers. To me a hug is something I enjoy, but I need something of a relationship with the other person. So, you know, it must be appropriate; it can be overdone. But in church perhaps we need to reach out and touch one another more than what we do.
At the close of one of the services last week, as we were singing the Lord’s Prayer, I was making my way up the aisle to the back and I hadn’t pre-picked out whose hand I would hold, but as I got toward the back I reached out and took the hand as we were singing of one of our ladies. She came to me with tears in her eyes at the end of the service and she said, "Reverend Mike, the Holy Spirit ordained you to take my hand this morning. You don’t know how much I needed that." I didn’t think I had done anything special. I just stopped and took her hand. But it was a blessing – touch is a part of an important aspect of blessing.
Spoken Words that Express Value: In so many situations today, words of love, affirmation, and support aren’t heard. Instead we buy in to the misconception that just "being present" with this other person is enough. They know that I love them; they know they are doing a good job; I don’t need to tell them. Friends, nothing could be further from the truth. A blessing becomes so only when it is spoken. A blessing is only a blessing when it is spoken. Do you remember that scene from the play and movie, "Fiddler on the Roof" when the husband asks his wife, "Do you love me?" To which she replies, "Well, I wash your clothes, I fix your meals, I take care of the house." But he keeps coming back to her and saying, "But do you love me?" Do you see what he’s wanting? He knows that when she fixes his meals it’s an expression of her love for him, but he wants to hear the words, "I love you".
One of the reasons the Walk to Emmaus, which I so strongly recommend to persons of all ages, one of the reasons it is so powerful is that provided in those three days, are opportunities for people to affirm one another which so many people desperately lack. Those of you who are in business may have read, "The One Minute Manager". It’s a real small book. Do you remember what the first principle is? "Catch someone doing something right and commend them for it." That’s the first principle. Walk around the work place, find somebody doing something right and verbally tell them. And yes, it is true that our words of affirmation can be done so casually and so often that they become meaningless. That is true. And I’m not talking about gushing forth over-exaggerations that end up actually having the opposite effect on the person because they just feel you are patronizing them, that your words don’t have any sincerity. But what would happen in our homes, in our church, at our school, in our places of work, if we stopped being so critical and learned how to speak blessings, words of blessing and affirmation, to other people?
Hope for the Future: Let me speak first here to parents with children still at home. What kind of future are your children envisioning and visualizing in their mind as a result of the words you speak to them? Now, I guess there’s nothing these days that brings me more pride, than to see how well my boys are doing. Now having said that, you’ve got to realize, oh, they disappointed us so many times. They trampled on our hearts on numerous occasions. They were ordinary kids. But one of the things we tried to do was through our words to keep affirming the gifts they had and the future we felt could be theirs. And to see them realize that is such a blessing. All too many adults are going through life and they are still hearing in their mind, even at age seventy, they are hearing their parent’s say, "You’re dumb". And those words were spoken sixty years ago but they are still hearing them. They are still hearing their parents say, "You’ll never amount to anything". They are hearing their parent’s say, "Why don’t you ever get it right?" Some of you know that first hand. You still hear it in your mind. It’s had an affect on you. Parents, your words have a tremendous power to either build up or destroy your child’s future. There’s a quote that I like so much. It just goes like this, "We bring out the best in what we bless".
And what I’ve been saying in relation to parents and children is really true for all of us no matter what age we might be. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t like somebody else to say something nice about you? Anybody that doesn’t like that? I was over visiting my folks earlier in the week and my Mom said to me, she said, "I really appreciated the worship service last Sunday." I’m 53 years old now, but it still sounded as good as when I was 13. It’s good to hear a word of affirmation. There was a gentleman I had supper with about a month ago and I had occasion to call him on the phone this week and in the conversation he referred back, as I was telling him something, of my story that night, the story of this church. And he said, "I can’t tell you what a blessing you were to me that night at supper." He said, "God has a great future for your church." And I said, "Thank you for that blessing". I said, "You don’t know, but I’m just finishing up the sermon for Sunday which is on the power of the blessing. And you just bestowed a wonderful one on me. It doesn’t make any difference how old we are, we still like to get those words.
Let me deal with one other important issue related to this matter of conveying hope for the future through our words of blessing. The question is this, "How do I convey hope and blessing to another person when the situation they are facing from a human perspective is pretty hopeless?" Now I don’t have time to flush that out this morning but let me tell you what I’m talking about. Let me make it very practical. When I stood beside Marilyn Collin’s bed on Friday, how do I convey a word of blessing to Marilyn in a situation that looks pretty hopeless right now? I try to convey three things. And as I share these, I want you to think of someone you’re dealing with—family member, friend, neighbor, or co-worker—maybe they have terminal cancer and the doctor said, "You’ve got three months to live." Maybe one of their children has died and they are not coming back in this world. How do you convey blessings to them?
1) You need to understand the value of remembering. You need to help them remember that although the present moment may be dark, it hasn’t always been dark. Help them remember.
2) Help them realize they will not be alone. Although they are walking through the valley, they won’t walk it alone; because if no one else will be there, you’ll be there for them.
3) Help them grasp the sufficiency of God--a God who took the worse of Good Friday and turned it in to the hope of Easter Sunday morning.
And I hope each of you have a person in mind that you are relating to now that needs a blessing from you in a pretty hopeless situation. Give them those three things. Is God using you to be a source of blessing to others around you giving hope through your touch and words of affirmation? Those of you who are still blessed with your mother’s being with you in this earthly life, you’d better not just tell them today that you love them. Unless they are miles away, if you are with them for a meal today, they need a big hug. They need that touch. It helps them know that they are loved and that they are valued. The gift of a blessing can do such fabulous things. It can help us deal with the hurts and pain of life. A blessing can help heal the brokenness, release us from the chains of the past, and give us hope for the future.
I hope that the words of our closing hymn are the prayer of your heart today, that God will make you a blessing to someone today.
E-mail Comments to: Reverend Dan Sinkhorn