"Strengthening Our Grip On Aging
" (5th message in a 5-part sermon series) Sermon Transcript for October 28, 2001 By Rev. Mike BeckScripture Reading: Joshua 14:6-14
As much as I might not want to admit it, I’ve lived in seven different decades. When I look in the mirror, I realize I’m not quite the same person at 52 as I was at 32. Every time I get my hair cut, I discover more gray. And persons in their 60’s look younger to me with each passing day. I realized that I was getting older a couple of years ago when I was talking to my son. Adam was an excellent basketball player and we were talking about IU basketball and I mentioned Kent Benson; and he didn’t know who I was talking about! Every one of us in this sanctuary is in the process of aging. But probably very few of us consider ourselves "old". You know the best definition of old I’ve ever heard is that old is "15 years older than however old you are".
Some of the retired preachers here have had this experience of going to a nursing home and visiting with a lady who’s 85 and she says as you’re leaving, "Now, be sure you visit the old lady down the hall." So much humor and stuff has been written about aging. You know you’re getting older when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. You know you’re getting older when the best part of the day is over when the alarm clock goes off. You know you’re getting older when your back goes out more often than you do. You know you’re getting older when you have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet. And you know you’ll getting older when the favorite part of the newspaper is "50 Years Ago Today".
But you know, we’re often our own worse critics when it comes to age. Have you ever noticed, children don’t seem to mind that we’re getting older? In fact, they seem to prefer it, especially when it comes to grandparents! If you’re grandparents you’ll especially appreciate this little article written by a third grader entitled, "What’s a Grandmother?"
"A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes other people’s little boys and girls. And a grandfather is a "man" grandmother. He goes for a walk with the boys and they talk about fishing and stuff like that. Grandmothers don’t have to do anything but "be there". They’re old so they shouldn’t play hard or run around. It’s enough if they drive us to the market where the "pretend horse" is and they have a lot of dimes ready!"
When grandmothers take us for walks, they slow down for pretty leaves and caterpillars. Grandmothers never say, "Hurry up". Usually grandmothers are fat, but they’re not too fat to tie our shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear! They can take their teeth and gums out!
Grandmothers don’t use baby talk which is hard to understand; and when they read us stories, they don’t skip pages either. And they don’t mind if it’s the same story over and over again. Grandparents are neat, because they’re the only grown-up’s who have time."
There’s a lot of truth there, isn’t there? Many of you are in your retirement years and others of us see it approaching far more quickly than we ever realized. One man described his retirement in this simple 4-line poem:
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name is missing I know I’m not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed!
This message today is for all of us. For no matter how young or old we may be, we will all deal with the challenges of aging. And there are challenges! Carolyn Wait--I’ve used her quote on numerous occasions. I greatly miss her and Hershey. They came faithfully at the 8:30 a.m. service. Hershey would usually have a good joke to get my Sunday morning started off right. And Carolyn, when I visited her one day over at the Community, she said, "Getting old isn’t for sissies!" There’s an awful lot of truth to that.
Well, I want to say at the beginning of this message, there are dozens of persons who I am looking at that are handling aging in their retirement years in A+ fashion. In many cases they are more active than they ever were. I don’t know how many retired folks I’ve heard this year say, "I don’t know how I had time to work." But many persons struggle with this issue of aging. Some adults feel a sense of uselessness. They feel like they are in the way or they are over the hill. And often times they are very capable people, especially mentally, but they’ve got a lot of answers but nobody is asking them questions any more. Some adults live with what I’m going to refer to as an if-only mentality. They tell themselves that they blew it. If only they had a second chance to go around they’d do things differently in their job, or their finances, or in their family. Someone this week, Mickey and I took a few days to get away to celebrate, I won’t say which year, birthday for her. She accused me of preaching this sermon today to her. But as I was driving I listened to Bob Holmes’ sermon, "If I Had It To Do Over Again". And Bob in that message basically said, "If I had it to do over again I’d do it all the same. Appreciate the life that God’s allowed me to live." But a lot of people have an if-only mentality. Some other older adults live in the realm of self-pity. From their perspective, physical limitations and the unfairness of life has only gotten worse as the years accumulated. And many older adults live in the attitude of fear. They wonder if their money is going to hold out. They wonder and fear about their health, about their children, about losing more friends and family members.
As we battle those things it would be tempting to withdraw from life, to take an attitude of "just leave me alone". But living life alone is lingering death. Especially as we grow older, we need each other all the more. But Joshua 14 has something to teach us about how to strengthen our grip on aging. Let me set the stage for you. The Israelites had left Egypt under Moses’ leadership 45 years before. And if you remember they came to the edge of the Jordan, they sent out twelve spies. They scouted out the land and unfortunately people listened to the ten spies who said, "There’s giants over there. We could never take the land." But there were two of those spies that gave a different report. They said, "God is with us. He’s given us this land. We can do it." And their names were Caleb and Joshua.
For our first lesson from this story we need to perhaps stop and read between the lines. Put yourself in Caleb’s sandals for a moment. Forty-five years ago both you and Joshua brought back a good report. And later Moses died and it was time for God to pick a leader. And God didn’t pick you; he picked Joshua! Well, if you’re Caleb you could be thinking, "I did everything Joshua did. I brought back a good report. I told the people not to rebel. I had as much faith as Joshua did." But reading between the lines, we come to our first lesson on how to strengthen our grip on aging. For we observe in Caleb’s life an attitude of acceptance. For 45 years he has refused to be bitter. He has refused to second-guess God. He has said in effect, "God has chosen His leader and it’s not me. So I’ll follow Joshua fully. I’ll accept the way God has ordered life for me." And, friends, as we get older all around us is change when we’d love for life to be stable and secure. But can we accept the inevitable changes of life? Can we accept our physical limitations? Can we accept our unfulfilled dreams? Every single one of us, no matter how good life has gone, has some unfulfilled dreams. Can we accept the reality of death? For you see, acceptance is more often than not the first step to the peace within that we desire.
Caleb also brings to his aging years an attitude of thanksgiving. In Verse 10 Caleb says, "Just as the Lord promised, God has kept me alive for 45 years…" since that fateful day at the Jordan River when Israel listened to the majority report and failed to trust God. Well as we get older, "losses" of one kind or another they happen on too regular a basis don’t they. But when they occur, are we thankful for what we have left, for what we have enjoyed in the way of modest blessings, or is our focus on what we’ve lost? An attitude of thanksgiving helps us strengthen our grip on aging.
And then the third think we see in Caleb’s life is an attitude of optimism. We probably chuckle when we hear Caleb’s words to Joshua in Verse 11. He says to Joshua, "I’m still as strong today as the day when Moses set me out." Now that’s probably an exaggeration, but it still reflects a wonderfully optimistic attitude toward life. I bet you know some persons who are age 40 and are "old". And I’ll bet you also know some persons who are age 80 and are incredibly young. The difference is the lenses through which we view the world around us. Ask God to help give you an optimistic view on life.
And then, fourthly, we see in Caleb’s life an attitude of involvement. Caleb says to Joshua in Verse 12, he says, "Joshua, tell you what, you give me the hill country." Now do you realize that’s the least desirable land? The enemy is still there; they’ve got to be driven out. But Caleb’s attitude, even though he’s 85 years old, he’s probably the oldest person Joshua’s talking to, he still says to Joshua, "Don’t you pamper me because I’m old. Don’t take me out of circulation. Joshua, get out of my way. Give me my weapon. There’s still something for me to do." As we get old we can either fold up, curl up, or dry up, or we can follow Caleb’s example and take on a new mountain! I’m looking at a lot of senior adults. There are still mountains that we’d like you to claim in ministry here at Grace. And how thankful I am for the dozens of retired persons and retired pastors who do not take the attitude, "I’ve done my share, now I just want to rest," but are actively involved in the ministry of Grace church. An attitude of involvement--yeah, it may not be in the same way or to the same extent, but I can still be involved.
And then, finally, we see in Caleb an attitude of Godliness. Verse 14 says, "he followed the Lord wholeheartedly". Those of you who have lived many years, you’ve got the benefit of wisdom and experience. Model for us who are younger what it means to be a Godly man and a Godly woman. Show us in the struggles that go with aging. I see this in your life all the time. When I visit you and that periodic trip to the hospital or when the arthritis has flared up. In the struggles of aging, help us see and hear the sufficiency of God’s grace. Teach us a perspective on love that only can come from years of experience. Reveal to our young people, those of you who have been married 50, 55, 60, and some of you even 65 years, we want to see in you and our young people need to see in you a definition of love that goes way beyond the shallowness that they get in TV and in the movies. On this point it makes no difference whether you are 88 or 28, you can still love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Growing older? Welcome to the club. I don’t think there’s anyone here getting younger. But with God as our helper let us strengthen our grip on aging by bringing to that adventure—and it is an adventure—the attitudes we see in the life of Caleb:
An attitude of acceptance
An attitude of thanksgiving
An attitude of optimism
An attitude of involvement, and
An attitude of Godliness
Let us pray. "Lord, I want to make my prayer very personal. I want to thank you for the privilege of ministering in this church where I have the chance to know and to learn from and to observe some Godly men and women who handle aging with the attitudes we see in the life of Caleb. I want to thank you for many of the persons whose names I read this morning for the way that they’ve enriched my life. Perhaps having the privilege of standing with them in the final chapter of their life, it taught me something not only of how to live well but how to die well. We know it’s inevitable that we’re getting older. But that doesn’t change the reality of your presence with us. So strengthen our grip on aging for the glory of God, for the fullness of each day of life you give to us. And all of God’s people say, Amen."
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